Mẹ ưu sầu suốt một tháng qua.

Có lẽ giữa mẹ và cha có bất đồng xích mích về chuyện gì đó, mà tôi không được rõ. Cha mất việc làm, nói đúng là bị đuổi việc, bởi một sự trù dập trả đũa về chuyện cha viết bài báo tố cáo những hành vi tiêu cực của ban giám đốc cơ quan. Bài báo của cha không đủ chứng cớ tối cần thiết, bị quật ngược, phản tác dụng, cha về nhà nằm dài trăn trở ôm giấy quyết định sa thải đã nửa năm trời. Nhưng chắc chắn không vì chuyện đó mà mẹ buồn rầu. Mẹ không hề cằn nhằn gây gỗ với cha chuyện đấu tranh cho lẽ phải, cho chánh nghĩa, mà còn là người bạn cổ vũ đồng tình với cha hết mực.

Vậy, mẹ buồn khổ về chuyện gì?

o0o

Từ ngày cha thất nghiệp, nằm nhà, cha bỏ hẳn thuốc lá, bỏ rượu chè, bỏ luôn cả thói quen uống cà phê buổi sáng. Cha chỉ cần dùng hai bữa cơm hằng ngày, buổi sáng uống trà khan. Mẹ không biết vui hay buồn, đồng ý hay không tán thành, chỉ thấy mẹ vẫn chu cấp tiền đều đặn cho cha tiêu xài.

Mẹ buôn bán ngoài chợ, sạp vải nằm trúng nơi đắc địa nên thu nhập kha khá, đủ để lo cho cha nghỉ ngơi nếu cha muốn. Nhưng cha không muốn ở nhà, cha thường đi vắng, nói là gặp bạn bè để tìm việc làm mới, đi đến các chùa làm công quả cho nguôi ngoai nỗi buồn chán… Mẹ không muốn tìm hiểu, có muốn cũng không có thời giờ theo dõi cha. Tiền mẹ đưa cho cha dằn túi, đưa bao nhiêu hết bấy nhiêu, đưa nhiều hết nhiều, đưa ít hết ít, không hề nghe cha phàn nàn đòi hỏi gì thêm. Cha cứ lặng lẽ sáng đi, trưa về ăn cơm, nghỉ một giấc, rồi lại đi đến tối, ăn tối xong lại đi đến khuya,

cả mấy tháng trời như vậy mà vẫn chưa nghe cha báo tin vui có việc mới, dù là việc tạm thời.

o0o

Mẹ bảo nhỏ tôi:

“Mẹ không có thời giờ để theo dõi cha con làm gì. Mẹ giao nhiệm vụ cho con từ ngày hôm nay. Mẹ nghi cha đã có người tình, đang lén lút đi lại với người đàn bà khác. Bao nhiêu tiền mẹ đưa hết sạch, chắc là cho người ta ăn hết rồi. Con hãy tìm hiểu thay mẹ, có tin gì báo cho mẹ biết ngay. Đừng để nước tới chân mới nhảy thì… sự đã rồi!”

Tôi đau thắt cả tim gan. Tôi khóc một mình, thương mẹ, giận cha.

Rồi quyết tâm tìm cho ra sự thật, quyết bắt quả tang cuộc ngoại tình mà lâu nay tôi “chúa ghét” khi biết được qua sách báo, phim ảnh…

o0o

Ăn tối xong, cha lại đi.

Tôi lén vào phòng riêng của cha, lục lọi hết các ngăn tủ, hộc bàn, dưới nệm, trong gối để tìm cho ra một manh mối nào đó của cuộc tình lén lút mà có thể cha giấu kín. Có một ngăn kéo khoá kỹ. Tôi tìm chìa khoá không ra, biết chắc cha đã mang theo mình. Tôi không dám cạy phá khoá. Tôi vội chạy qua nhà thím Tư để gọi mẹ về. Mẹ có chìa khoá ngăn kéo đó.

Đang tính toán sổ sách tiền nong với thím Tư, nghe tôi bỏ nhỏ, mẹ vội vàng theo tôi về nhà ngay.

Hai mẹ con hồi hộp mở ngăn kéo. Ngăn kéo được mở ra.

Bên trong là một con heo đất to đùng.

Mẹ bưng heo lên rơm rớm nước mắt.

Tôi đọc thấy dòng chữ ghi dưới bụng heo đất:

“Phòng khi đau ốm. Tôi không xứng đáng được sử dụng!”.

Tôi bưng heo thử. Heo nặng tay. Tôi xốc thử. Không sột soạt, vậy tức là bên trong đang có tiền đã được nhét nghẹt, chật kín. Tôi nhìn mẹ. Mẹ đang khóc. Tôi cũng không kềm được nước mắt.

Đúng lúc ấy, lúc

mà hai mẹ con tôi còn đang bàng hoàng day dứt, cha bước vào phòng. Mẹ con tôi hốt hoảng, đứng chôn chân tại chỗ, chỉ còn biết trố mắt nhìn cha.

Cha mỉm cười.

Một nụ cười độ lượng, trông tội nghiệp biết ngần nào!



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