Chúng ta hãy thừa nhận một sự thật, mỗi chúng ta đều có ít nhất là một vài điều nào đó không được hài lòng đối với ý trung nhân của mình. Cho dù các bạn có may mắn có được một mối quan hệ tâm đầu ý hợp đến đâu đi chăng nữa, thì trong suốt quá trình sống chung ngày này sang ngày khác, năm này sang năm khác, cũng sẽ có những khía cạnh nhất định nào đó làm cho người bạn đời của bạn đôi lúc không hài lòng và phải âm thầm chịu đựng.

Hiểu được điều này, chúng ta sẽ có thể giải quyết vấn đề ngay từ khi nó còn chưa đến mức phải bộc lộ ra. Và cách tốt nhất để bạn biết được điều gì đang diễn ra trong suy nghĩ của vợ hoặc chồng mình là hãy thẳng thắn đặt câu hỏi trong một bối cảnh thích hợp. Có điều gì không tốt trong cách ứng xử hoặc trong tính cách của bạn?

Đôi khi, bạn có thể tự nhận biết những khuyết điểm của mình mà không cần phải hỏi anh ấy hay cô ấy. Và đôi khi bạn nhận biết được qua những phản ứng lập lại nhiều lần của anh ấy hay cô ấy với những hành vi hoặc thái độ nào đó của bạn. Nhưng những điều đó có ý nghĩa hoàn toàn khác với một cuộc đối thoại trực tiếp.

Việc đối thoại trực tiếp và cởi mở sẽ đặt vấn đề ra theo một chiều hướng hoàn toàn tích cực, vì nó tạo ra sự thân mật, tin cậy giữa người hỏi và người đáp. Vào một dịp thích hợp nào đó – tất nhiên là bạn biết có rất nhiều dịp như thế trong quan hệ vợ chồng – hãy đặt ra những câu hỏi thẳng thắn. Hãy đề nghị anh ấy hoặc cô ấy nói cho bạn biết những khía cạnh nào là không tốt của bạn

trong quan hệ giữa hai người. Trong việc xây dựng một mối quan hệ tốt đẹp dài lâu, thái độ tích cực này sẽ có ý nghĩa nhiều hơn là bạn tưởng.

Nếu sự chân thành và cởi mở của bạn đủ để anh ấy hay cô ấy nói ra điều gì đó, đó sẽ là cơ hội rất tốt để các bạn ngăn ngừa trước một hiểm họa trong tương lai.

Nếu là một khuyết điểm nhỏ, nó sẽ được hóa giải theo hai cách. Thứ nhất, bạn sẽ biết để chú ý khắc phục. Thứ hai, vì các bạn đã cùng nhau đề cập đến vấn đề, anh ấy hoặc cô ấy sẽ cảm thấy dễ chịu hơn ngay cả khi bạn chưa thể khắc phục hoàn toàn khuyết điểm của mình ngay lập tức.

Nếu là một vấn đề nghiêm trọng hơn, các bạn sẽ có cơ hội để cùng nhau thảo luận sâu hơn, và cũng có thể bàn đến cả những biện pháp để cùng nhau khắc phục.

Một điểm tế nhị trong vấn đề là khi bạn chọn giải pháp công khai tìm hiểu vấn đề, sự chân thành và cởi mở của bạn sẽ có thể làm cho mọi việc thay đổi. Nhiều “thói xấu” nhỏ nhặt của bạn trước đây có thể làm cô ấy hơi khó chịu, nhưng có thể sẽ không được cô ấy nói ra, và sau thái độ tích cực của bạn chúng sẽ trở thành những điều không đáng kể hoặc thậm chí có thể trở thành “đáng yêu” là khác. Bạn biết đấy, điều rất dễ hiểu là “khi thương quả ấu cũng tròn” mà.

Và nếu mọi việc diễn tiến theo hướng tích cực, có thể bạn cũng sẽ nhận được những câu hỏi tương tự từ cô ấy hay anh ấy. Và các bạn sẽ cùng nhau tích cực hoàn thiện mối quan hệ của mình. Nhưng ngay cả cho dù không nhận được một phản ứng tích

cực như thế cũng không sao. Đừng đòi hỏi cô ấy hoặc anh ấy phải làm điều tương tự như bạn. Chỉ một nỗ lực từ phía bạn cũng đủ để hoàn thiện rất nhiều cho mối quan hệ của các bạn rồi.



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