Những ngày cuối hạ oi bức, không làn gió thoảng. Cây cối trơ ra như những tượng đá trong vườn thần chết. Mọi thứ như dừng đứng để chờ đợi một phép lạ. Tuần trước, rừng ở quận hạt lân cận bị cháy suốt mấy ngày khiến bầu trời mù mịt khói đen, nắng không xuyên qua được, chỉ ửng lên cả một vùng trời màu vàng nghệ lạ thường. Nay thì trời trong không một gợn mây. Bầy quạ đen lại tranh nhau miếng mồi nào đó, kêu quang quác đầu hè. Rồi im. Bầy chim sẻ đi đâu mất dạng gần một tháng hè gay gắt nắng. Bất chợt, có con bướm cánh nâu lạc vào khu vườn nhỏ. Và gió từ đâu rung nhẹ những nhánh ngọc lan đang lác đác khai hoa, thoảng đưa hương ngát hiên nhà. Phép lạ đã đến. Gió đầu thu.

Dục vọng là một bản năng, đến với chúng ta từ khi chào đời, và được nuôi dưỡng theo ngày tháng với sự khích lệ (nhẹ nhàng hay mạnh mẽ, vô tình hay cố ý) của gia đình, học đường, xã hội. Dục vọng, biểu hiện rõ rệt qua cảm giác và tư tưởng, luôn có đối tượng của nó. Đối tượng có khi chỉ là cái bánh, viên kẹo, đem lại cảm giác vui thích nho nhỏ; có khi là món quà sinh nhật hay quà Tết với áo quần mới; có khi là bằng cấp, việc làm có lương cao; có khi là nữ trang, hột xoàn của ngày đính hôn, ngày cưới; có khi là sắc đẹp, tài năng, nhà cửa, tài sản, v.v… và hơn thế nữa, là danh vọng cao sang, quyền bính tột bực trong xã hội, quốc gia. Dục vọng không bao giờ thỏa mãn với đối tượng mà nó nhắm đến. Nó luôn nhàm chán, và muốn vượt qua đối tượng, mưu tìm một đối tượng khác cao hơn, mang cảm giác mạnh hơn. Và tiến trình mưu cầu sẽ là con đường dài

truân chuyên, khổ ải xuyên qua cuộc đời trăm năm (có khi là nhiều đời kiếp khác ở tương lai), không biết đâu là chỗ dừng lại.

Tiện nghi vật chất càng tăng trưởng, dục vọng càng được thúc đẩy cho những cuộc săn lùng mới, đầy kích thích và thú vị. Thế giới vì vậy, càng lúc càng trở nên hỗn loạn, bất an, bất toàn.

Thảng hoặc một lúc nào đó, gã cùng tử mệt mỏi, dừng chân, không muốn tìm kiếm nữa; khát vọng trong hắn vẫn thúc đẩy một cuộc kiếm tìm ở cung bậc cao hơn, nhẹ nhàng, thánh thiện hơn, chẳng hạn một đời sống xả ly, tiết dục, giảm thiểu nhu cầu vật chất. Nhưng đó cũng chỉ là mặt ngoài, là vỏ bọc của một quả cầu lửa—trái đất—mà hắn đang đứng bên trên một cách bình an mỗi ngày. Nếp sống xả kỷ và sự tuân thủ giới luật, vẫn chỉ là hình thức, không thể dập tắt được sự âm ỉ hay hừng hực của lửa dục.

Theo triết lý nhà Phật, vấn đề là phải nhận chân được căn nguyên của dục vọng, chứ không phải là tìm cách dập tắt nó hoặc dẹp bỏ những đối tượng. Một khi nhìn ra được nó một cách rõ ràng, chân xác, nó sẽ không còn sai xử chúng ta truy tìm, chạy đuổi theo những đối tượng, ảo tượng.

Căn nguyên của dục vọng là gì?

Khi một người chỉ biết vơ vét, tích lũy, dành dụm của cải tài sản, không biết ban phát hiến tặng một tí gì cho đời: hắn đang bị cột trói bởi một chủ nhân.

Khi một người luôn tự cao, tự đại, tự tôn, kiêu kỳ, ngạo mạn, nghĩ mình là hàng thượng đẳng, nghĩ mình là trung tâm, mọi người phải tuân phục: hắn đang bị cầm đầu bởi một chủ nhân.

Khi một người luôn tự ái, nóng giận, hận thù và thường xuyên bị tác động bởi những tiếng khen-chê: hắn đang bị điều khiển

bởi một chủ nhân.

Khi một người luôn cho mình là bậc trí tuệ, sáng suốt không ai bằng, chỉ có mình mới có khả năng giải quyết được vấn đề của cuộc đời: hắn đang bị bịt mắt bởi một chủ nhân.

Chủ nhân của hắn là ai?

Con chó được người hàng xóm dắt đi dạo, ngang qua nhà người khác, chõ mõm sủa người chủ nhà.

Con quạ giành được miếng ăn, hăm hở mổ, ngấu nghiến nuốt trọng, rồi bay đậu trên nóc nhà, ngoái cổ nhìn qua nhìn lại; kêu lên một tiếng khô khan, ý chừng đã thỏa mãn.

Báo chí nói rừng bị cháy lan suốt cả tuần là do một người bệnh hoang tưởng nổi lửa đốt. Hàng chục ngàn người được lệnh chuẩn bị di tản. Hàng trăm ngôi nhà bị cháy, hàng trăm ngàn mẫu rừng bị thiêu rụi. Nhưng ngôi nhà của người bệnh nầy an toàn, không hề hấn gì.

Ban trưa, bầy chim sẻ bỗng từ đâu quay về, lùng sục thức ăn khắp vườn sau, không thấy gì, réo nhau bay đi, để lại một sân ngập nắng.

Con bướm cánh nâu nhẹ nhàng nhịp cánh, nhởn nhơ, vờn trên những nụ hoa thơm ngát.

Có phép lạ nào đâu! Gió đầu thu hôm nay không giống gió đầu thu năm trước, nhưng cũng là gió, không gì mới; chỉ là sự lặp lại của một vận hành thời tiết.

Con người trong thế giới hiện đại cũng chẳng làm nên phép lạ gì, chẳng làm thêm trò gì mới trong cuộc mộng nhân sinh ngoài việc sáng chế và phát triển những tiện nghi đời thường, sao cho thỏa mãn những thị hiếu tham lam của mọi người. Đối tượng thì có mới, có đổi thay, nhưng bản chất của dục vọng chưa hề thay đổi.

Không chuồn chuồn bay, nhưng biết, gió heo may đã về (*), rồi sẽ có lá vàng rụng khắp nơi cho một mùa thu mới.

California, ngày 25 tháng 8 năm 2018
(ngày Rằm tháng Bảy, Vu Lan)
Vĩnh Hảo

www.vinhhao.info

_________________

(*) Lời

của nhạc sĩ Trịnh Công Sơn trong ca khúc “Nhìn những mùa thu đi.”



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