Rốt cuộc một mình. Một mình thôi. “Trời cao đất rộng, một mình tôi đi, một mình tôi đi... Đời như vô tận, một mình tôi về, một mình tôi về... với tôi!” (Trịnh Công Sơn).

Phải. Một mình đi. Một mình về. Cao rộng thế nào, vô lượng vô biên đến đâu thì cũng một mình thôi. Lạ, cái con người. Luôn thèm có nhau. Quây quần. Đàn đúm. Rồi kêu ca nào ái biệt ly nào oán tắng hội! Ai biểu. Sao chẳng “độc cư” đi? Cô đơn có vẻ là nỗi khổ lớn nhất của kiếp người. Đặc biệt ở tuổi già. Mà tuổi trẻ cũng vậy thôi. Cái lỗi ở chỗ không biết sống “độc cư”. Ngay cả khi có một mình, con người sống cô độc mà cũng chẳng “độc cư”. Người già quay quắt với dĩ vãng tiếc nhớ buồn thương... Người trẻ chẳng rời được cái laptop, ear phone, di động... Dù đang trên núi cao hay giữa vực sâu họ cũng bị quấn quít chằng chịt ngày đêm. Cứ tưởng độc cư là một mình ăn, một mình thở, một mình đi, một mình về... nhưng không. “Độc cư” không phải độc cư nên mới gọi là độc cư! Một hôm có kẻ đệ tử nổi tiếng sống “độc cư”, một mình đi khất thực, một mình về ngồi ăn... Phật kêu bảo, đáng khen, đáng khen, nhưng độc cư không phải vậy, không phải chỉ vậy. Đó không phải độc cư thật.

Ở một mình, ăn một mình, đi một mình, ngủ một mình mà đầu óc quẩn quanh biết bao hình bóng, biết bao câu chuyện, nhớ tiếc dĩ vãng, mơ tưởng tương lai thì không thật độc cư! Dĩ vãng qua rồi. Quấn quít với nó mãi thì gánh nặng đeo mang bao giờ đặt xuống? Tương lai chưa tới. Que sera sera. Biết ra sao ngày sau. Chuyện ngày mai của ngày mai. What will be will be. Tướng như vậy, tánh như vậy… bổn mạt cứu cánh nó như

vậy… Vậy phải chăng an trú trong hiện tại, sống “hiện sinh” xả láng? Hiện sinh kiểu đó cũng chẳng phải hiện sinh chút nào!

Độc cư không chỉ rời xa dĩ vãng, không đắm đuối tương lai mà hiện tại cũng phải nhìn bằng con mắt khác. Mắt huệ: vô thường, khổ, không, duyên sinh, vô ngã... Độc cư và Thiền định không hai. Độc cư thứ thiệt thì nghe ngóng được vận hành của Như Lai trong từng sát na, là sống với Như Lai, sống cùng Như Lai, sống như lai. Và như vậy, người ta có thể “độc cư” bất cứ ở đâu, giữa chợ đời, trong gia đình, dưới gốc cây, nơi rừng thẳm… Cho nên càng sớm “độc cư” thì càng không cảm thấy cô đơn…

Đừng theo dấu quá khứ
Hay khát vọng tương lai

Còn hiện tại thì sao? thì “Dùng huệ giác soi chiếu” vậy. “Du ư Ta bà”... Bồ tát “rong chơi” trong cõi Ta bà ấy là nhờ có “Du hí thần thông”! Cứ bay vèo vèo coi chỗ nào chúng sanh cần gì, kêu ca gì thì ra tay cứu độ. Các nhà khoa học hiện vẫn loay hoay tìm kiếm coi có thứ gì có vận tốc nhanh hơn vận tốc ánh sáng không, nếu có thì sẽ có những thay đổi lớn, không còn thời gian không gian, không còn hạt còn sóng...

Thực ra thứ đó đã có từ lâu. Đó là tâm. Tốc độ tâm. “Tâm hành”. Vô lượng vô biên a tăng tỳ kiếp… Không nắm bắt được. Bất khả đắc. Cho nên làm thế nào để hàng phục, làm thế nào để an trụ tâm vẫn ngàn đời là một câu hỏi lớn. Cô đơn có vẻ là nỗi khổ lớn nhất của kiếp người. Nhờ nương theo cái tâm rộng lớn “không ngằn mé” đó mà Bồ tát “du ư” cõi Ta bà. Bất cứ chỗ nào và bất cứ ở đâu cũng có thể xuất hiện một ông Bụt dễ

thương: Sao con khóc? Con cần gì ta giúp cho? Vấn đề ở đây là tại sao “du hí thần thông”? Đã “du” sao còn “hí”? Rong chơi chưa đủ vui sao mà còn cười cợt, đùa giỡn, hí lộng…? Nhưng hãy cảm thông cho Bồ tát. Ấy chẳng qua thấy nhiều chuyện “nực cười” quá không nín được. Có vị cười ha hả, cười hết ga, có vị cười tủm tỉm, có vị cười âm thầm. Không cười sao được khi lúng túng chẳng biết giúp bên nào giữa hai đội bóng: người đá phạt đền thì xin phò hộ cho đá vô, người giữ gôn thì xin phò hộ cho đá ra. Không cười sao được khi thấy oán oán chồng chất, giết hại lẫn nhau không thương tiếc rồi lập đàn xin xá tội, giải oan; không cười sao được khi thấy người ta nhét tiền vào tay mình để mong mau làm giàu, mau thăng quan tiến chức...! Cười mà thương chứ chẳng phải ghét bỏ, coi thường chi đâu. Cho nên mới có Thường Bất Khinh, mới có Quan Thế Âm...? Bồ tát vì “bất tận hữu vi, bất trụ vô vi” nên cứ phải bay qua nhảy lại giữa bờ mê bến giác, nhưng nhờ con mắt huệ đã có thể thong dong mà nhìn rõ tánh tướng nhân quả các thứ… Từ đó mà có Từ có Bi.

Nhưng để có thể “du hí thần thông” như vậy Bồ tát phải tu tập tinh cần để đạt được những “đà la ni”, tức những năng lực đặc biệt: chẳng hạn sao cho nhất thiết chúng sanh hỷ kiến (ai thấy cũng vui) - nhờ trung thực, chân thành - sao cho hiện nhất thiết sắc thân (để hòa nhập với tất cả mọi người, mọi lúc, mọi nơi) - nhờ khả năng thấu cảm - và sao cho giải nhất thiết chúng sanh ngữ ngôn để truyền thông hiệu quả bằng mọi thứ phương tiện, kể cả sự lặng thinh. Dĩ nhiên trên

hết phải có sự tôn trọng. Nhờ có những đà la ni, những “tam muội” thần thông đó mà Bồ tát mới rong chơi vô ngại trong cõi Ta bà... Mới làm cho Ta bà thành cõi Tịnh độ vậy.





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