Có một mối quan hệ tất nhiên mà các bạn cần nên biết, đó là giữa tâm trạng của mỗi chúng ta và sự giao tiếp với những người chung quanh. Khi bạn ở trong một tâm trạng bình thản, vui vẻ – có thể gọi là tâm trạng tích cực – mọi việc đều dễ dàng trở nên tốt đẹp. Bạn có thể cảm thông và tha thứ ngay cả với những điều khó chịu nhất mà ai đó làm với bạn. Ngược lại, khi bạn đang trong một tâm trạng bực dọc, căng thẳng, hoặc thậm chí là buồn nản – có thể gọi là tâm trạng tiêu cực – bạn sẽ dễ dàng làm “to chuyện” với bất cứ ai ngay cả khi sự va chạm là nhỏ nhặt không quan trọng.

Sự thật này cần được chú trọng đúng mức trong mối quan hệ giữa các bạn. Bởi vì, là vợ chồng với nhau, các bạn có nhiều thời gian tiếp xúc với nhau hơn bất kỳ mối quan hệ nào khác. Và nếu biết vận dụng hợp lý nguyên tắc này theo hướng tích cực, các bạn sẽ dễ dàng tạo ra được một mối quan hệ tốt đẹp trong gia đình.

Điều đó có nghĩa là, các bạn hãy giữ cho tâm trạng luôn ở trong trạng thái tích cực càng nhiều càng tốt. Và một trong những phương thức hữu hiệu nhất là tìm cách làm giảm nhẹ sự căng thẳng trong cuộc sống, bởi vì trong cuộc sống ngày nay hầu như rất hiếm có ai trong chúng ta lại không phải chịu những áp lực căng thẳng trong sinh hoạt thường ngày.

Có nhiều cách có thể giúp các bạn giảm bớt căng thẳng. Tất nhiên là các bạn phải mất một ít thời gian cho mục đích này, nhưng những gì bạn nhận được sẽ hoàn toàn xứng đáng với thời gian bỏ ra.

Ngày nay, ở phương Tây có nhiều lớp dạy ngồi

thiền như một phương thức hữu hiệu để giảm bớt sự căng thẳng. Điều nghịch lý là tại phương Đông của chúng ta, nơi đã sản sinh ra phương thức này, lại có ít người quan tâm đến nó trong cuộc sống thường ngày.

Các hoạt động thể dục thể thao cũng là những phương thức có thể giúp bạn giảm căng thẳng nếu bạn thực hiện một cách đều đặn, thường xuyên. Các hình thức giải trí lành mạnh như nghe nhạc, đọc sách cũng có tác dụng tốt cho mục đích này. Bạn cũng có thể đi bách bộ mỗi buổi chiều khoảng mười hay mười lăm phút quanh nhà với tâm trạng thư giãn...

Tuy nhiên, phương thức làm giảm căng thẳng mà nhiều người chọn nhất là tìm một chỗ dựa tinh thần. Mỗi ngày chủ nhật, hàng trăm người đi lễ nhà thờ; mỗi ngày rằm hay mồng một, hàng trăm người đến chùa. Điều này giúp giảm nhẹ rất nhiều căng thẳng trong cuộc sống. Người ta có được một khoảng dừng nhất định để buông xả mọi thứ ra khỏi tâm hồn mình, lắng đọng trong không khí tôn nghiêm của nơi thờ phụng và cùng nghe những lời chỉ dạy đơn sơ nhưng luôn hàm chứa một thông điệp hướng thiện. Thiên đàng có thể là một hứa hẹn còn khá xa vời, nhưng lợi ích trước mắt có thể thấy được chính là được giảm bớt sự căng thẳng.

Sự căng thẳng là một trong những nguyên nhân dễ nhận ra nhất trong việc thúc đẩy quan hệ hôn nhân đi theo các chiều hướng không mong muốn. Trong cuộc sống ngày nay, chúng ta phải đối mặt với sự căng thẳng mỗi ngày. Chỉ có một cách duy nhất để chúng ta giải quyết vấn đề là phải học biết cách vượt qua được nó. Bạn có thể chọn một trong các phương thức khác nhau để làm giảm căng thẳng, cách nào cũng được, miễn là

bạn cảm thấy thích hợp với mình. Điều quan trọng nhất là bạn nhận hiểu được vấn đề và biết rõ mình đang làm gì.

Khi bạn chủ động làm giảm sự căng thẳng, bạn sẽ có được một tâm trạng tốt hơn, bạn trở thành người dễ tính hơn, vui vẻ hơn, biết cảm thông và tha thứ hơn, và nói chung là dễ giao tiếp hơn. Ngay cả khi chỉ một trong hai người có tâm trạng tốt, sự giao tiếp cũng có thể được đảm bảo luôn đi theo chiều hướng tích cực, vì ít ra thì người ấy cũng luôn tỉnh táo trong việc định hướng hoặc cắt đứt sự việc ngay khi cần thiết. Điều này tất nhiên là tiền đề quyết định cho một cuộc sống hạnh phúc trong gia đình, bởi vì các bạn sẽ giảm được rất nhiều những xung đột không đáng có.

Ngược lại, khi bạn để cho cuộc sống xô đẩy theo khuynh hướng căng thẳng vốn có ngày nay, bạn sẽ dễ dàng trở nên cáu gắt, dễ bực dọc, và nói chung là dễ làm “to chuyện” đối với mọi vấn đề, ngay cả những vấn đề nhỏ nhặt. Bạn có thể dễ dàng hình dung được điều gì sẽ xảy ra nếu cả hai người đều đang trong một tâm trạng tiêu cực khi tiếp xúc nhau. Hầu hết các va chạm không đáng có trong gia đình đều xuất phát từ những bối cảnh tương tự như thế.

Điều tất nhiên là các bạn không thể đòi hỏi loại trừ sự căng thẳng ra khỏi cuộc sống của mình – cho dù điều đó nghe có vẻ thật tuyệt vời – nhưng ít ra thì các bạn cũng có thể giữ nó ở một mức độ có thể kiềm chế được. Và khi cả hai người cùng hiểu rõ điều này, các bạn có thể giúp nhau rất nhiều trong việc đạt được điều mong muốn: một tâm trạng tích cực bao

giờ cũng là điều trước tiên cần có để cảm nhận được hạnh phúc gia đình.



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